You Spill What You Carry
What's in your Cup?
“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.”
— Anaïs Nin
You Spill What You Carry
We’ve all heard the expression about “filling our cup.”
But how often do we actually slow down and think about that?
What fulfills you?
What brings you peace?
What sparks joy, purpose, or clarity in your life?
For me, it’s simple … yet easy to overlook when life gets hectic. I fill my cup spending time with friends and family. Pausing to slow down and simplify the constant busyness. Helping others. And living with gratitude for the blessings I’ve been given — and they are many.
Those are the things that fill my cup. But here’s the part we sometimes miss as leaders, coaches, and people trying to make a difference.
It’s not just about what fills your cup — it’s about what spills out when life shakes you. And life will shake us.
Imagine you’re holding a cup of coffee, and someone bumps into you. Your coffee spills everywhere. So why did coffee spill?
It’s easy to blame the bump. However, looking at it from a different perspective, the coffee spilled because coffee was in the cup. If it had been water, it would have been water that spilled.
The same thing happens to us. We all get rattled — stress, pressure, adversity, setbacks. And when that happens, whatever’s inside us spills out. It could be patience or frustration. Gratitude or resentment. Confidence or insecurity.
We can’t fake what spills when life bumps us. We reveal what we’ve been carrying all along. That’s why filling your cup matters — not just for yourself, but for everyone you influence!
When we are at our best we fill our lives with perspective, humility, gratitude, growth, and purpose — so when the hard moments come, those are the things that spill over.
When we are stressed, burned-out, and reactive we carry frustration, comparison, and negativity — and that’s exactly what others feel when pressure hits.
Life’s going to bump you. You control what spills out.
“The soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts.”
— Marcus Aurelius
Connecting this quote to the story. What we consistently pour into ourselves — our mindset, beliefs, and perspective — shapes what inevitably spills out when life shakes us.
This week’s Chasing Influence tip: Guard the inputs, lead the outputs.
What you read, listen to, and focus on fills your cup — lead intentionally by controlling the influences shaping you.
If you enjoyed this story, a series of three Chasing Influence workbooks is available. Stories are accompanied by discussion questions and answers. Each workbook contains 33 lessons to use with any team.
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©Troy Urdahl, 2025