The Wolves Within
The Quiet Battle that Shapes Us
“The soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts.”
– Marcus Aurelius
The Wolves Within
Chasing Influence: Transformational Coaching to Build Champions for Life
This week’s story comes from the Chasing Influence Workbook Two. Discussion questions and answers accompany stories; each workbook has 33 lessons to use with any group.
A wise grandmother once shared a story that feels especially relevant to those of us striving to influence others—be it in locker rooms, classrooms, or boardrooms.
She sat her grandson down and explained, “Inside every person, there’s a battle going on. A battle between two wolves.
“One wolf is bitter—born of anger, jealousy, arrogance, and fear. It thrives on blame, comparison, and false pride. This wolf is fed by every excuse we make, every time we shrink from responsibility or lash out instead of leaning in.
“The other wolf is hopeful—fueled by love, peace, humility, and courage. It grows stronger when we act with kindness, speak truth, admit mistakes, and show up for others.”
The boy thought for a moment, then asked, “Which wolf wins?”
The grandmother smiled. “The one you feed.”
This story has been shared for generations, and it sticks because it speaks to something deep and personal—we are the sum of our small choices. The inner wolves aren’t mythical creatures; they are habits, thoughts, and patterns we nurture (or neglect) every day.
And this story hits even harder for coaches, leaders, and parents. Why?
Because we are not just feeding our own wolves. We are also shaping the habits of others. Every time we respond with patience instead of frustration, speak hope into a teammate, or stay humble in success—we model which wolf to feed.
The battlefield isn’t out there. It’s inside us. Leadership starts within.
“Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions.”
– Lao Tzu
Connecting this quote to the story. Our thoughts feed the wolves. Our repeated thoughts feed them well.
Chasing Influence tip: Remember—your inner voice sets the tone for your outer leadership.
If you enjoyed this story, a series of three Chasing Influence workbooks is available. Stories are accompanied by discussion questions and answers. Each workbook contains 33 lessons to use with any team.
Updates on Chasing Influence
Chasing Influence: Transformational Coaching to Build Champions for Life is available in Kindle, softcover, hardcover, and audiobook editions.
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©Troy Urdahl, 2025