The Great (Ant) Escape
Knowing what to control (and what not to)
“You cannot always control what goes on outside. But you can always control what goes on inside.”
— Wayne Dyer
What’s Your Juice? Unlock the Energy that Transforms Performance, Fuels Purpose, and Ignites the People Around You is now available on Amazon and now on Audible!
This story is adapted from What’s Your Juice?
The Great (Ant) Escape
Some of the best leadership lessons don’t come from boardrooms or business books (or newsletters!). Sometimes, they come from a mayonnaise jar, a piece of pantyhose, and a classroom full of ants.
Let me explain.
When I was in elementary school, growing up in the heart of the Upper Midwest’s farm country, I had a science project that required building an ant colony. Simple enough, right?
Or so I thought.
I walked down a dirt road cutting through farm fields by my house until I found a bustling ant mound. I scooped up some promising dirt filled with ants and carefully moved my “subjects” into a glass mayonnaise jar. I then stretched a piece of nylon pantyhose over the top, secured it with a rubber band, and had my homemade ant farm.
We were off to a great start. Although the ants didn’t seem too happy to be in there, I was confident this was going to be the greatest ant farm anyone had ever seen. I couldn’t wait to show off these feisty ants to my classmates and teacher. After the proud reveal, I left my ant farm at school for the night, excited to return the next day and see the progress.
That next morning, I walked into class to find no ants in the jar. My prized insects were gone.
What I had unknowingly captured were cornfield ants—industrious, determined little devils with a natural drive to be free that far exceeded my elementary abilities to contain them. They had chewed straight through the nylon and vanished into the school.
I never did find out what happened to them after their great escape. It became an unspoken secret between my teacher and me; a quiet understanding that some forces simply cannot, and perhaps should not, be contained. There were no re-dos for this project.
Looking back, I had focused all my energy on trying to control something whose very essence was to break free, rather than first understanding what I was truly dealing with.
The ants weren’t the problem. My approach was.
As a leader, I see this pattern play out constantly. We waste enormous energy trying to manage the unmanageable … trying to control outcomes, people, perceptions … instead of directing our efforts toward what we can actually influence. We grip tighter when we should be thinking smarter.
Real power isn’t managing everything; it is choosing what to manage.
On your team: Are you spending energy trying to contain someone whose drive and determination is actually their greatest asset, just needing better direction?
In your work: Are you gripping tightly to a process, a plan, or an outcome that keeps escaping your control no matter what you do?
In your own head: Are you exhausting yourself trying to control things that were never yours to control in the first place?
The most energized leaders I’ve ever known aren’t the ones who control the most. They’re the ones who’ve gotten really clear on what deserves their energy … and what doesn’t.
The ants are going to do what ants do. What are you going to do? That’s what you control.
“The tighter you squeeze, the less you have.”
— Thomas Merton
Connecting this quote to the story. Over-control often backfires, costing you the very thing you’re trying to manage.
This week’s Chasing Influence tip: Understanding what you’re leading matters more than controlling it.