"The scars you can’t see are the hardest to heal."
– Astrid Alauda
Nails in the Fence
Chasing Influence: Transformational Coaching to Build Champions for Life
This week’s story is from the second Chasing Influence workbook.
There was once a talented and intelligent young boy, a natural leader everyone wanted on their team. However, he had a flaw that concerned his parents - he had a bad temper and could say and do hurtful things when he was angry. His parents tried to find a way to help him manage his anger and one day, his father had an idea.
He gave the boy a bag of nails and a heavy hammer and instructed him to pound a nail into an old oak fence whenever he felt angry. On the first day, the boy drove 37 nails into the fence in a fit of rage. But over time, as he continued to hammer nails into the fence whenever he felt angry, he gradually realized that it was easier to control his temper than to drive nails into the fence.
Eventually, the boy learned to manage his temper and didn't lose it at all one day. His father was proud of him and gave him the task of removing one nail from the fence each day that he didn't lose his temper. It took several weeks, but eventually, the boy had removed all the nails from the fence and felt proud of his accomplishment.
However, when he showed the fence to his father, his dad pointed out the holes left behind by the nails. He told the boy that just like the fence, when you say or do hurtful things to others, it leaves a scar that can never fully heal. Saying sorry can help, but the damage has already been done. The father reminded his boy that treating others with care and respect is important and that hurting others should be avoided at all costs.
The boy learned an important lesson about managing his anger and treating others with kindness while being mindful of his words and actions.
“Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing.”
- Abraham Lincoln
Connecting this quote to the story. This Lincoln quote highlights that our reputation may change based on external factors, but our character remains constant. We should focus on building a strong character rather than worrying about our reputation because character is the foundation of our true selves.
Chasing Influence tip: A wise leader knows that while mistakes are inevitable, the true test lies in how we repair the damage.
If you enjoyed this story, a series of three Chasing Influence workbooks is available. Stories are accompanied by discussion questions and answers. Each workbook contains 33 lessons to use with any team.
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Chasing Influence: Transformational Coaching to Build Champions for Life is available in Kindle, softcover, hardcover, and audiobook editions.
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©Troy Urdahl, 2024