Know What You're Looking For

Fifteen years for a one-minute punchline

“Clarity precedes success.”

— Robin Sharma

What’s Your Juice? Unlock the Energy that Transforms Performance, Fuels Purpose, and Ignites the People Around You is now available on Amazon and now on Audible!

Know What You’re Looking For

January 2011. St. Olaf College, Northfield, Minnesota.

I enjoy speaking opportunities and sharing new ideas with different groups. My three assistant coaches and I had just wrapped what I thought was one of the better presentations we’d given. Forty-five minutes on how we’d built a successful baseball program—the culture, the buy-in, some big wins. The coaches in the room were engaged. The energy was good. And I had one final move, it was a video clip I’d recently discovered that I was convinced would close the talk with a laugh and end our presentation on a high note.

There was just one problem. No A/V speakers.

The clip was in Italian and subtitled, but I felt the audio mattered. So the St. Olaf staff scrambled, found external speakers, got everything wired up, and we were off. I clicked to my final slide, leaned into the moment, and delivered my closing setup:

“In closing, I’ll leave you with these final thoughts. All of you possess the knowledge and tools to excel. It’s where you place your priorities, and what you emphasize within your program can make all the difference. You hold the secret in your hands—it is up to you to show them the way. Let me illustrate.”

I hit play.

A minute later: total silence.

Not polite silence or contemplative silence. Just … energy-draining pin-drop silence. A 45-minute presentation—one I was proud of—ended without so much as a polite chuckle.

I sheepishly closed my laptop. Thanked the room and filed that video away where I wouldn’t have to see it.

For fifteen years, I didn’t think about it (I may have even repressed it!).

Then, while preparing for a new presentation this past week, I found it again—buried in an old folder, exactly where I’d left it. I pulled it up and watched it. And I still thought it was funny, and it had a point worth making. I still believed in the clip and couldn’t believe it flopped so badly.

My wife did not share my confidence.

She thought trying it again was a questionable idea. In fact, we put a bet on it— that no one would laugh. With that friendly wager, I had some stakes on the line and something to prove. More than that, I had fifteen years of experiences to help me understand why it had failed the first time.

So here’s what I need you to do before this post goes any further. Watch this one-minute clip to help me settle my bet.

(You can click here if the link above didn’t work.)

Apologies for my attempts at humor :)

But when I showed that clip to a room full of coaches a week ago—same type of audience, same video, fifteen years later—they laughed heartily and clapped as the presentation came to a close.

My wife owes me.

The video hadn't changed. It was the same clip, Italian comedy, donkey, and punchline. What changed was what I brought to the clip this time.

The second time, I told the room they had to laugh—because I had a bet with my wife riding on it (the bet’s rules said nothing about my ability to do this—sorry, Rebecca!).

Suddenly, the room was invested, and there were some stakes for all of us. Before I hit play, I told them exactly what lens to watch it through. I didn’t leave the interpretation up to chance and I controlled the frame. When it was over, I gave the the punchline they’d been primed to receive:

“In coaching and in leadership, you have to know what you’re looking for. What are you looking for?”

In 2011, I handed them a video and hoped they’d figure it out.

In 2026, I handed them a lens first, and the video did exactly what I had originally thought it could.

The content was never the problem. It rarely is.

What I’ve learned after decades of coaching and leading is that people don’t struggle because they lack the tools. They struggle because they haven’t been shown how to look at what’s right in front of them. That’s our job. Not just to have the answer, but to help people find the angle, lift what’s in the way, and see clearly. Just like the man in the video. He was solving the problem in front of him, and he knew what he was looking for.

Preparation and framing matters, and so does our clarity of intention. The quality of how you show up … how you set the table, how you guide the eye, how you create the conditions for people to receive what you’re offering … that is the work.

Fifteen years is a long time to sit on a lesson. But some things are worth the wait—as long as you’re willing to figure out what you were missing the first time.

What are you looking for? And more importantly, are the people you lead, coach, and serve able to see it too?

“The eye sees only what the mind is prepared to comprehend.”

— Henri Bergson

Connecting this quote to the story. People won’t see the lesson until you help them prepare for it. The first time I showed the video, the audience wasn’t prepared to understand what they were seeing, but the second time, they had the needed lens and could see the message that had been missed the first time I delivered it.

This week’s Chasing Influence tip: Don’t just give people the answer—help them see it.