Reflections of Responsibility
Reflections of Responsibility
The Window and Mirror Test for Leaders
“In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibly.”
— Eleanor Roosevelt
Reflections of Responsibility
Chasing Influence: Transformational Coaching to Build Champions for Life
A wealthy young man once sought counsel from a revered mentor for his advice on what to do with his life. The mentor brought him to a nearby window and asked:
"What do you see through this glass?"
"I can see people moving about, and it looks like a blind man asking for donations on the sidewalk," the young man said.
The mentor then rolled a large mirror in front of the window and asked him what he saw.
"I see myself," the young man responded.
"And you no longer see the others,” the mentor noted. “Both the window and the mirror are made of the same material—glass. However, in the mirror, a thin layer of silver coats the glass, so all you can see is yourself.
Compare yourself to these two types of glass.
“When struggling, you observe and empathize with others. When doing well, and you’re coated in silver, you only see yourself.
“Your true value emerges when you have the courage to strip the silver from your eyes to see again and love your fellow mankind.”
Thought leader Paulo Coelho has shared a version of this story. There are a number of window or mirror exercises that tell the story of selflessness over self, an especially useful activity for leaders to consider.
To lead the best team possible, leaders must find ways to help others improve. You have two options whenever something happens to you and your teams: look in the mirror or through a window. By looking in the mirror, you see only yourself, but by looking through the window, you can see what's happening around you and how it's affecting others.
When things go well, the best leaders look through a window and give credit to those around them. On the other hand, when something goes wrong, effective leaders look in the mirror and assume responsibility. As a leader, you must decide if it’s time to look through a window or a mirror in both times of success and failure.
As a leader, you need to think about how you can best help the team. You must be able to look through the window and recognize all those who contributed to success. Then, there are times when you must look in the mirror and take responsibility for a team’s mistakes. Blaming others erodes trust and fuels impaired team dynamics.
As a leader, the goal is to accomplish something great as a group, regardless of who gets the credit. By focusing on being a leader who can balance looking through the window and the mirror, you can help bring your team to its full potential.
“Ninety-nine percent of all failures come from people who have a habit of making excuses.”
— George Washington Carver
Connecting this quote to the story. The story emphasizes the importance of taking responsibility for one's actions and avoiding the tendency to make excuses. If someone has a habit of making excuses and blaming others for their failures, they are unlikely to succeed as a leader or a team member. The serves as a reminder to avoid making excuses and to take ownership of one's actions and decisions.
This week’s Chasing Influence tip: The power is in your hands. Never give away an opportunity to take responsibility, and make wise, not selfish, choices.
If you enjoyed this story, a series of three Chasing Influence workbooks is available. Stories are accompanied by discussion questions and answers. Each workbook contains 33 lessons to use with any team.
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©Troy Urdahl, 2023